New Year's Theme

This post is going to hop on the New Year's Goals bandwagon, but hopefully in a way that speaks to you a little differently than the ones already clogging your Instagram feed. I know that I read through a lot of posts about the goals people are setting for the New Year and it overwhelms me; I just start thinking of all the ways I could improve myself this year and it sends me into a panic.

So, this year, I decided to give myself a theme for the year and set goals that fit with the theme. However, I'm not gonna beat myself up over meeting these goals, rather I'm going to focus on the progress I'm making towards living a life that meets my theme (is this making sense, it's kind of hard to explain).

Without further ado, here is Messi Jessi's Theme for the year 2018:

Here's a little back story for why I chose this as my theme:

I've never learned how to work hard (big confession, I know). I know this might make it seem like I was just a spoiled child who never had to work hard, but that's not it. What it was was manipulation and excuses; I am the queen of both (but I'm working on dethroning myself).

Growing up, school was always easy for me; I liked things like reading, projects, and being sweet to my teachers so I never had to work to get good grades. I was also really good at convincing teachers to let me get extra credit, so if I didn't do so hot on an assignment, I always had back up.

I took piano lessons and I desperately wanted to be one of those people who could just look at a sheet of music and play it, but I didn't want to put in the work to get there. I didn't like to practice and the only reason I lasted as long as I did with lessons was because I loved my piano teacher; but I told myself that I didn't really care if I could play the piano and that I just wasn't musically gifted. I also liked to blame my brother; he is one of those people who can hear a song and then play it by ear on the piano and I told myself that I wouldn't ever be able to do that, so why even try?

Not many people know this, but when I started college I was doing pre-nursing. During my second semester I had to take a chemistry class and I told myself that I don't have a chemistry brain. After failing the first test, I simply gave up; I withdrew from the class and ended up just switching my major. But, I told myself, I didn't really wanna be a nurse anyway---teaching was my true calling (side note, I really do believe that teaching was the right path for me, but I sometimes wish I had stuck it out with nursing).

Mission Prep: I got the prompting that I should serve a mission, but once my call came I suddenly didn't want to go. I think I gave myself anxiety focusing on all the time, effort, and energy serving a mission entails. I used depression/anxiety and a boy as an excuse not to serve and quite often I think about the people in Germany I could have helped. I convinced myself that the Lord didn't really want me to go anymore, but I think it was more me than Him.

These are just a few examples to show the pattern I have of avoiding hard work. I'm one of those people who is not just comfortable in their comfort zone, but who is laying on the softest bed, under the warmest blanket, with endless hot chocolate and Netflix never getting out of their comfort zone.

I've convinced myself that because I've lived/am living a "busy" life that I'm living a fulfilled life, but the truth is that I'm not. In the last few months I've started to wake-up to the fact that I'm not living up to my full potential and I'm getting uncomfortable in my comfort zone. To be honest, the idea of working hard this year scares the crap outta me, but I've got more determination than ever (and I'm working on having the tools and support to help me be successful as the year rolls on). I want to find my passion in life and I want to know what it feels like to try, fail, try, fail, work hard, try, and finally accomplish something meaningful to me.

This year I want to work hard and I want to be changed. Here are my goals to help me along the way:

Personal

1-Get healthy from the inside out by following my morning and bedtime routines (I'll be posting soon about both of these routines) and by improving my gut health (getting more pre & probiotics and reducing refined sugars and carbs).

2-Add one emergency preparedness item a month to our "grab-and-go" bags

3-Start building up food storage (Fun fact, your New Year's goals don't all have to be worked on in January, this one I'm not planning on starting until this summer).

4-Learn new hobbies/work on old ones

-- Do one sewing project a month (I've already got four projects planned so I don't get stick in a mental rut of trying to decide what to do).

--Spend at least 1 hour a week with the camera (learning how it works, studying good angles/poses, editing, and working on our family chatbooks).

--Practice the piano at least 2 hours a week (divided up however I can squeeze it in)

I'm all about celebrating the small steps and focusing on progress, so I worked up a little system to give me a visual way of tracking my progress. I bought these cute little stickers from amazon and each color is assigned to a goal (or part of a goal) and each day I work on that goal I get to put a sticker on my calendar. This way, at the end of every month, I can look back and see 1) my progress and 2) what areas need more work/planning.

I'm also going to print out my theme and put it on my closet door so that I can see it every day (multiple times a day) and remind myself that working hard towards goals that are important to is worth it. This time next year I may not be a professional photographer who can sight read a concerto while cooking a meal made only from things in my food storage, but I will be able to to create a simply edited picture of our family, I will be able to sight read simple songs, and I will be able to hem a pair of pants.

A few final thoughts on goal-setting: Take a minute to think about what you really want from yourself this year; try not to let everyone else's goals bog you down. These are your goals and they should reflect what you want. Right 'em down and then break 'em down. Sometimes we get these really big, broad goals (Work out more or make time for my kids) that truly are impossible to measure and meet; take those big goals and break them down into monthly, weekly, or even daily goals. TRACK YOUR PROGRESS. Speaking from experience, you will lose motivation real quick if you can't look back and see how far you've actually come. Celebrate the small successes. Tell someone your goals to keep you accountable. And lastly, don't be afraid of working hard towards something you want.

I would love to hear some of the goals y'all are setting for yourselves this year and if anyone needs someone to hold them accountable I would love to be that person for you.

Here's to year of working hard and changing for the better!

Stay Messi,

Jessi

P.S. I know this post is a little all over the place, but there were so many things I wanted to say. Hopefully it all makes sense.