Infertility Update: Our Journey to IVF Part 1-The Diagnosis

I have been meaning to sit down and write this post for a while now, but life (holidays, moving, travel, and a certain level of melancholy) has made it difficult. If you saw my most recent Instagram post, then you know that Jimmy and I (with emphasis on the "I" part) will be starting our first IVF cycle on January 4th. I wanted to share a little bit of our journey to this point, simply because I know there are so many people who will be able to relate and I feel like infertility struggles are so common, yet faced in so much silence.

to start this journey we are gonna go way back and get real personal, so #sorrynotsorry for the TMI.

Back when I was a teenager, my periods were very irregular, few and far between. But back then, that seemed more like a gift than a curse. Having fewer periods meant less money spent on feminine supplies, less worry about messing up clothes or having mortifying accidental leaks, fewer cramps, etc. etc. I never once thought that these infrequent periods could be a sign of something going wrong on a hormonal level. Thoughts like that weren't even in my stratosphere at that time.

In college I started those fun yearly visits to the gynecologist, but things always came back normal. On the outside (and the fairly superficial inside), my body seemed to be functioning the way it was supposed and no one ever seemed too concerned about my inconsistent periods and ,again, I wasn't complaining.

A few months before Jimmy and I got married, we agreed that I would start birth control, but with the stipulation that I would only be on it for a year or less. I had started doing more research into hormones and functional medicine and knew that birth control could really mess a girl up, so I knew I didn't want to be on it for a long time. While on birth control my periods were more consistent, but still not at that clockwork magic level where I knew without a doubt what day I would start. I tried to track my cycles, but no pattern really became apparent to me.

The day I got to delete this lovely reminder from my phone (February 8, 2017)

About 8 months into me taking birth control (February 2017), we decided it was time to start trying to conceive (TTC). I stopped birth control and started using ovulation strips. So many ovulation strips!!!!!! And not one ever showed that I was ovulating; I was starting to worry, but not too much because I knew that it could take a while for birth control to clear out of your system. During this time I also started the rollercoaster of not having a period for a while, thinking "maybe, just maybe it's because I'm pregnant", grabbing a pregnancy test, waiting those agonizingly long three minutes, hoping for the best, and then experiencing the worst. I've probably taken close to 50 pregnancy tests, all taking me for a ride on that rollercoaster, and all ending in a negative pregnancy test.

I was getting more and more concerned, but trying to not let my hope and optimism dwindle. As we approached the magic one-year-mark when doctors will start infertility testing, my concern and worry heightened. Now the thoughts of "what if something is wrong with me? What if we can't have children? What are we going to do?" invaded my mind. Infertility was something other people went through (I know many), but not something I was meant to go through. I tried to take such good care of my body, I ate healthy, exercised, didn't smoke, drink, or do drugs, blood tests always came back normal. Something shouldn't be wrong with me.

But there was. After a horrible experience with a doctor in Del Rio, I switched my care to SAMMC (a military hospital in San Antonio) and had a much better experience.

After lots of blood work, two fun vaginal ultrasounds, and a most uncomfortable procedure known as a HSG, my diagnosis was officially PCOS and Jimmy's was low sperm count.

My worst fears weren't just confirmed, they were magnified. Not only did I have a problem that would make it difficult to conceive, but Jimmy did as well. Now double the forces were working against us and our desire to start our family.

I'm gonna go on a little tangent now about PCOS. I feel like it is a little bit of buzzword right now, but that it is misunderstood. PCOS stands for Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and it is a diagnosis of elimination, meaning that doctors rule out all other medical issues that have similar signs/symptoms of PCOS and if you have none of those things, then you get diagnosed with PCOS.

The name can be a little bit misleading because you don't actually need to have cysts on your ovaries to be diagnosis with PCOS. My favorite book about PCOS (which I will link here) defines PCOS as needing to meet these three criteria:

1-Delayed ovulation or periods

2-Excess androgens, such as testosterone or DHEA, causing acne, hirsutism (unwanted facial/body hair), male-pattern hair loss, or high androgens on a woman's bloodwork.

3-Polycysitc ovaries on ultrasound.

Now you don't have to have all three of these signs to be diagnosed with PCOS, even having just one can give you the diagnosis. My biggest sign was "anovulation", meaning I have fewer than ten cycles per year or my cycles are longer than 35 days. Cysts weren't found on my first ultrasound, but markers of them were found on my second one.

There are four phenotypes of PCOS:

Type A: Delayed ovulation, hyperandrogenic, polycystic ovaries (classic)

Type B: Delayed ovulation, hyperandrogenic, normal ovaries (classic)

Type C: Hyperandrogenic, polycystic ovaries, regular ovulation (non-classic)

Type D: Delayed ovulation, polycystic ovaries, and no androgenic signs (non-classic)

I fall under the Type D phenotype.

Now, I know I'm getting a little technical and you're probably wondering why I included all this information and it is for the sole purpose of raising awareness of PCOS. I want every woman to really examine her cycle, her hormones, and her overall body functioning and ask the question "Is something off?", if the answer is yes, the please go visit your gynecologist!!!!

Things you can look for without visiting the doc include:

-Cystic acne, particularly on the face (around the jaw and hairline)

-Unwanted facial/body hair (hair where a man would have it, but a woman shouldn't)

-Trouble losing weight, particularly around the middle area

-infrequent or inconsistent periods

Things a doc can help uncover:

-Cysts on your ovaries

-Messed up hormone levels

Please, please, please do yourself a favor a become more aware of your body!!!! Even if you are a teenager and the thought of having children is far in your future, please get checked. There are so many things you can start doing today to make your future outcomes better. There isn't a cure for PCOS, but there are things you can do to minimize, and even reverse, some of the sign/symptoms. I tend to follow a more holistic/functional medicine way of thinking and believe that what you eat effects your body in more ways than we can even hope to understand. The food you put in your body absolutely can alter your hormones and affect your body's natural functioning. I have done a lot of research about PCOS and use this book as a basis for many of my beliefs about PCOS and I'm always happy to talk about it.

I really want to normalize conversations about PCOS, infertility, and IVF, which is why I write these blog posts (well, and because I know people are curious about our journey and I'm happy to alleviate some of that curiosity). My next post will talk more about how IFV became, truly, our only option to conceive a biological child of our own.

If you think you may have PCOS or are struggling with infertility, please never hesitate to reach out to me; I am here to listen, teach, cry, give hope, or whatever you need through your struggles. Just remember, the struggle is real and it is more common than you think. You are absolutely not alone on this journey.

Hugs,

Messi Jessi

(and seriously, visit your gynecologist)